I can actually remember sitting down with my mom at a YOUNGISH age and discussing how we must THINK before we speak. We were in her yellow kitchen at the table. My brother was playing outside on the patio and she told me that before we actually say the words, we should think them through in our heads, figure out how they might sound to others and be mindful of our tone.
"It's not always WHAT we say, but HOW we say it."
I promise, I DO have a filter, it's just not a very big one. I make an effort to control what I say. For real. Let's sit down over a cup of coffee, glass of wine or slice of pizza. I will share whatever story or piece of my past you want to know. I'm an open book, what you see is what you get- so to speak.
You wanna talk past dating experiences? Sure. Have a checklist of parenting fails you need to compare? I have one too. Are the skeletons in your closet itching to come out? Mine has on a party dress ready to go.
There is very little I won't share with a friend. Just ask my poor husband. He's often mortified at how much of our life my friends know about it.
But that's sitting down face to face. It's a different world over here in blogland. I'm not saying I'm living a lie in this Crazy Busy world. I'm not. My filter is just a little better.
For example::
There are only so many of my kid's stories that I'm willing to share. While I want this to be a place where they will (hopefully) look at one day and reminisce about their childhood, I don't want to air their dirty laundry for the world to see. That's THEIR right, not mine. How can I tell them to be careful with what they share and post on their own social media sites if I'm here not doing the same?
The family skeletons won't be talked about. I might bring up a memory or two, but the good stuff is saved for another time and place. After all, they ARE my family. I can complain all day long about them, but I wouldn't want just anyone doing that.
My marriage is sacred. I love my husband more than anything. Yes, he annoys me. Yes, I may post anecdotal stories about silly things he does or says, but I will not use this medium as a way to bash him when I'm angry. I believe that when a couple starts venting and talking more to others about their problems and not each other, it breaks down the relationship. That's certainly something I don't want to happen.
At the end of the day, I want this to be a happy place. I know life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. I don't plan on shying away from the negative things, but I also don't plan on only focusing on those either.
You wanna talk past dating experiences? Sure. Have a checklist of parenting fails you need to compare? I have one too. Are the skeletons in your closet itching to come out? Mine has on a party dress ready to go.
There is very little I won't share with a friend. Just ask my poor husband. He's often mortified at how much of our life my friends know about it.
But that's sitting down face to face. It's a different world over here in blogland. I'm not saying I'm living a lie in this Crazy Busy world. I'm not. My filter is just a little better.
For example::
There are only so many of my kid's stories that I'm willing to share. While I want this to be a place where they will (hopefully) look at one day and reminisce about their childhood, I don't want to air their dirty laundry for the world to see. That's THEIR right, not mine. How can I tell them to be careful with what they share and post on their own social media sites if I'm here not doing the same?
The family skeletons won't be talked about. I might bring up a memory or two, but the good stuff is saved for another time and place. After all, they ARE my family. I can complain all day long about them, but I wouldn't want just anyone doing that.
My marriage is sacred. I love my husband more than anything. Yes, he annoys me. Yes, I may post anecdotal stories about silly things he does or says, but I will not use this medium as a way to bash him when I'm angry. I believe that when a couple starts venting and talking more to others about their problems and not each other, it breaks down the relationship. That's certainly something I don't want to happen.
At the end of the day, I want this to be a happy place. I know life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. I don't plan on shying away from the negative things, but I also don't plan on only focusing on those either.
Do you have a filter when it comes to blog posts or is it anything goes?
8 comments:
I never talk marriage on the blog. I also won't talk about personal family stuff either. My blog is fluff with an occasional life story.
I agree, I filter WAYYYY more on here then in person. My husband & sisters give me a bad time about me sharing. They say that if you are in line with me at the grocery store for longer then 5 minutes you will know my life story. Whatever. I don't think I am THAT bad... ok maybe I might be, but on here I read & re-read before I post. I double check no one will really get feelings hurt. I still tell silly stories about my girls, mostly because they are still little, I imagine once they are older I will not feel good about doing that incase their friends read. It comes down to... real life ISN'T the same as online & that it is ok that we treat them differently at times.
I agree with you. I filter a lot. I try not to censor myself so that my followers get to know the real me. But then I fear I'll offend someone... it's a tight line that I walk lately. Trying to find my true voice and how much I want to share. But I do believe everyone censors or filters themselves on their blogs. They give you REAL snippets but not the whole story. Which is fine.
It's also easier to filter when you write, vs. word vomit falling out of your mouth in person, am I right?
I completely agree with you. Once words are written or said there is no taking it back. It cracks me up when people bash each other and the next week everything is great. You said it perfectly.
I tend to harp on the positive... it's supposed to be fun. Not so much a debbie downer. No one wants to hear my crap. Haha!
I love this post, and I couldn't agree more! I DEFINITELY filter my blog posts - there are some things that are just too private or too sacred.
I completely agree! Everyone has problems that go on at home that don't need to be shared with the world. The last thing that will resolve an argument between a couple is one bashing the other.
As McKayla gets older, I share less and less of what's actually going on. Like you said, that's her business. I may discuss things with close friends or family to get opinions, but not airing it for the world to see!
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